The Occult

Join Us!

Are you tired of normal friendships?

Do you enjoy wearing robes, goat masks and making questionable life choices?

Do you hate the Los Santos Police and government?

Then The Occult may be the family you never asked for.

What we offer

  • Dramatic group gatherings
  • Mild spiritual confusion
  • A strong sense of belonging (and surveillance)
  • The chance to call suspicious behaviour “tradition”

What we ask

  • Loyalty
  • Competence
  • A willingness to stand in circles looking ominous
  • Preferably, your own transport
Join The Occult

Ave Satanas

Member Reviews

★★★★★

“Came for the robes, stayed because leaving felt like more paperwork than it was worth.”

★★★★★

“Really supportive community. They always know where I am, even when I haven’t told them.”

★★★★☆

“Great atmosphere, lovely candles, slightly concerning basement.”

★★★★★

“I finally found a family that accepts me for who I am. Mainly because they already knew everything about me.”

★★★★★

“Excellent career progression. I started out holding candles and now people are frightened when I enter rooms.”

★★★☆☆

“The initiation was memorable. I’ve been advised not to elaborate.”

★★★★★

“Joined expecting a cult. Was repeatedly assured it isn’t one. Very convincing.”

★★★★★

“Fantastic work-life balance. There is no longer any distinction between work and life.”

★★★★☆

“Would recommend. One star removed because nobody explained why I needed to bring a shovel.”

★★★★★

“Friendly people, strong leadership, excellent robes. Ignore the screaming; that’s tradition.”

★★★★★

“The group really helped me become a better person. Or at least a much more intimidating one.”

★★★★★

“I asked if I could leave. Everyone laughed. Great sense of humour here.”

★★★★☆

“The sacrifices are definitely metaphorical. I have been instructed to make that very clear.”

★★★★★

“Before joining, I had no direction in life. Now I know exactly where to stand during the ritual.”